It's a wrap
i BEAT YOU
Wednesday
The update Countdown
Hi Thomas Colvin I can't beleive I finally found you. OMG how long has it been since we last saw each other? Halloween 1966 the day you were born. Who would of thought our lives would have turned out this way. I always knew you had it in you, so sorry it was tough getting "OUT" and about but who wants to beat that dead horse again, not I. So GLAD we found each other do keep in touch. Love your Alter Ego Thom Collins
summer 2009
Who ME?
Friday
Does the beat go on, really?
LIFE can be a Real DRAG!
“One Handsome BOW?”
After 5 weeks of hell not me, but my partner David we are both finally in our own home but he is 50/50. We have home health care with an RN, LPN, and PT/OT. He had to go to the Emergency room again yesterday due to dehydration. He doesn't like the taste of water and basically he has to start liking it or he can kiss his bladder goodbye and even being melodramatic could die if he doesn't begin to fight and try. It has been tough on him but for a caregiver it can be just as draining and hell. I have seen this many times with friends before and it doesn't always have to be AIDS but any illness with a serious side to it. Loved ones who are sick have a tendency of pushing and pushing to the point of wanting a knock out fight to have ME or YOU the caregiver to say basically "Blank Blank and Blankety Blank" with the hopes you will go away but also deep down they want to see if you will come back. Don't ask me why people who are fighting something life threatening or terminal feel the need to play these games but in my 25plus years living, breathing, fighting, working, crying, laughing, and most of all living with HIV/AIDS I know the road ahead will not be easy and support from JC, Family, and friends like those of you here on Face book with whom I have either reconnected with from the past or as I have said before have met on my OUT of the Closet tour Circa 1980's up until today. Wait let me check to see if I woke up straight......NOPE still gay. I really have to say Thank you for listening to my ramblings in the beginning of this adventure and even though I started to disappear it came to my attention it was impossible to share emotions which at one point I actually was numb and had none. But I am re-energized and spent the night playing with my drag and another hobby of mine Photography. Or Tech Art Photography. I will post some of my work for you to see but all it takes is some makeup, lighting, camera (video or Camera) along with many a program to tweak my creations. I do hope to get the nerve up to start posting video blogs or Vlogs on Face-book for it is so much easier than typing. Well, enjoy or destroy my drag profile pic for the weekend while I work on my summer 09 FB profile pic. Take CARE and God B
Saturday
1,000,000 GAYS & LESBIANS ON FACEBOOK! Global
Thom Collins- represent O.K.L.A.H.O.M.O Sexual, tis me! Were doing fine OKLAHOMa city Okay. I see my Sister Tulsa in da house and love this experiment. Just in case I pull a Kate Winslet I wrote a little something if honored with such a noble duty to represent my Twisted Sisters here on the belt buckle of the bible belt. If not it was just an honor to try and make sense of this observation as to stay on point and not go all Wild Tangent up in here. This is how I see it and I have seen allot.
Picture it Midwest Oklahoma City 1995 just opening a non for profit HIV/AIDS foundation Open Your Heart org. Always one to be a step ahead understanding the power of publicity a close girlfriend signed me up to a then Large but still communal AOL 1.5 giving me the Handle name ThomPoz. Remember the famous "Inter webs" didn't go mainstream until 1998. This is my point and how it all relates to this project on Facebook. If NOT for the GLBT community keeping those memberships/cash flow to AOL servers always UP for a good time at all hours of the day getting served a daily dose of just how friendly the GAYS who by no fault of our own are 1st in line to be condemned/hated on, or beaten but at the same time this then uncharted Internet and Cyberspace began to introduce Netscape or a new app called a search engine like Yahoo all would profit through growth and expansion as to one day be able to chat around the world but someone (Al Gore?) or something had to host it.
So 1995 prior and after AOL kept many a members happy with the somewhat original dose of a very BUSY GLBT Communal Networking of it's time knocking the 976 party lines off their throne before they realized the now Infamous M4M "CHAT ROOMS" were fresh,overloaded, exciting, and new. Just those three years alone AOL saw a spike in memberships and they were not from housewives for scrap booking ideas. Plus it was FREE! Honey we were at the party and as a Veteran of AOL I still have my chats/hosted HIV/AIDS private hosted monthly chat printed on dot.matrix printer. Knowing it impossible to try and compete with the ever changing M4M basic inquiry to years later so very creative M4BiM/Tran under 30 Chat rooms.Turned on and over by the time mainstream America could say Who Where What or -www..dotcoms were just learning the difference between the animal Mouse and the computer mouse and the idea of the Personal computer/Media/Video/Music/Entertainment basically as we now know and love didn't get off so to speak with such excitement invested money into the future of the World Wide Web and Silicon valley .dot Busted. My friends still built my website in 1998 sadly she is still up and gets email to date but archaic html gives a glimpse or a snapshot if you will of what the net was like 10 plus years ago.
If not for it along with being pro active participating in, learning, meeting, enriching my own personal life in so many ways I firmly believe if NOT for our vibrant and colorful GLBT communities feel the way in which WE the People share information via myspace, Friendster, and this Million GLBT experiment on Facebook may have looked very different... do you follow me??? This is just an opinion and is posted to be debated but is Facebook when you step back and as a past AOL volunteer or if you participated back in the mid 90's basically just a more interesting, and fun way to stay in touch through more ways than just text, but video, music, and photos still just ONE BIG CHAT ROOM of the past? What has changed socially today which was not in place 10 years ago. Kids this is progress. Why tell such a long tale because when we finally get all of OUR EQUAL rights and maybe a month of gay history I would love the answer to my theory when someone crunches the numbers allowing history to record the GLBT played a pivotal role in the way WE the People, Network, communicate, play, meet, learn, date, and relate to each other Gay, Straight, Christian, Muslim, Black or White in the 21st century.
Hot Topics: Obama Outlines His Gay Agenda On Whitehouse.gov
Obama Outlines His Gay Agenda On WhiteHouse.gov
Obama Outlines His Gay Agenda On WhiteHouse.gov
Sunday
Just When You Think The Pain is Going Away….
December 28Th will go down as the worst day of my life, far worse than testing HIV positive, far more painful than being picked on, kicked out of my home, and ostracized by my church for my so called "choice" to be gay. Crying sneaks up on you and when you realize all the love,attention, friendship, support, and all that is unconditional this beautiful 2 week old black capped Capuchin we named Rolex was a custodial blessing from my beloved Jesus himself. Just a half year shy of his 13 birthday God called him home and my faith is the ONLY thing which gets me thru this. I can only compare this pain to the loss of your mate or child. If you find my grief misplaced and refer to Rolex as a "PET" I would have to break my Christian tradition and choose NOT to ever correspond with you ever again. Debating Gays going to hell is fun for me but this monkey after all is 98 percent closest DNA/Genes as us humans. He was there just like E.T. was there for Elliot and vice versa. Rolex fought the last two years with an auto immune disease not really verified but similar to Lupus. Then he had allergic reaction 4 years ago to the damn rabies shot they don't need but only if it just about kills them first. His left leg was never the same. Type two diabetes since a baby I could go on but like myself living with AIDS he took care of David and I as we did him and our home is an empty shell, a silent quiet, a realization one will have to eventually face and after this dreadful first two weeks since he passed in my mates arms around this time two weeks ago he was at home and knew he was surrounded with love. I said my goodbyes two weeks ago for I raised him and I knew Rolex was tired and in some ways held on for us and never once would I keep him alive for selfish reasons but 4 days prior he and I in the moonlight coming thru our bedroom laying and looking outside into the dark night was our night. I admit I tend to go the high dramatic route but with tears running down my face looked him in the eyes and like we have seen in movies told him if you need to go, I understand and I will be okay, but if you want to fight I will fight with you. He cooed and like any other time licked my salty tears but once again life imitating art in this case my favorite movie E.T. was he speaking to me through his powerful eyes always in deep thought could hear in my head "COME" and me to him without speaking "Stay" and then kissed his now scabby red and swollen toes trying now not to loose it completely whimpered "OUCH". It was my moment so precious loving, sad, dramatic, knowing it was a matter of time, who knew just 3 days later. He is still in our room since cremated unable to even look at his ashes for we are having a beautiful Glass Globe made by Pet Memories where they use some of his ash, mixed with two colors lit with halogen light from below looking so ethereal. So I along with my partner David try to stay busy and have to watch our health too now. I will end with we love all of our family be it mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, and friends. My family all lives out of state and Rolex was like my partner a DAILY part of my EVERYDAY routine. My beloved Nanny died earlier this last year also and since there are no monkey sitters I have never been able to travel or been out of the state since Rolex got to around 3 but 1999 was the day my life stood still. I can't sleep in our bed, cut an apple, shower in my shower, and my partner God bless him use to moan about the mess Rolex could unleash upon this house since he WAS NOT CAGED Raised leaving peanut shells all over, and around New Years Eve we couldn't look at each other for fear of whaling and weeping but with tears coming down David's face he said to me "damn ir I would kill for just one peanut shell to pick up" we cried again hugged and take each day one day at a time. Thank you for supporting and allowing me a chance to share this personal part of my heart with you.
Monday
MODEL DRAMA FAME FACE LIFT INJECTABLE NONSENSE
Rolex passed away at 8:30am December 28, 2008
in my partners arms after a 2 plus year battle with an
"auto-immune"disease like Lupus. He was 12 nHalf
and if not for my strong faith Jesus took him with no
suffering and the Glory is to God for allowing my family
to be his guardian and he is in the Lords embrace truly
free and in bliss. HE was NEVER a PET but family &
best friend and was never raised in a CAGE being I
am disabled. Sweet dreams my angel
in my partners arms after a 2 plus year battle with an
"auto-immune"disease like Lupus. He was 12 nHalf
and if not for my strong faith Jesus took him with no
suffering and the Glory is to God for allowing my family
to be his guardian and he is in the Lords embrace truly
free and in bliss. HE was NEVER a PET but family &
best friend and was never raised in a CAGE being I
am disabled. Sweet dreams my angel
This is the only way to get thru this very tough time in my families life. Rolex was almost 13 years June 17th of next year. Some of you may have seen him as my sidekick over the years but as cliche' as this sounds he is in what only word can express what I am trying to say and that is Bliss or at Peace. He died in my partners arms at 8:30am and he will be surely missed. My baby did not suffer and I am forever grateful to Jesus for taking his tired little body and will meet again.
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